You know we love a good platformer in house Shiney and its been a little while since we played one. So when I saw this on Keymailer I was curious and had to give it a go.
You can see our first play here.

This was not the magical joy of platformer like Auro the Bunny, no. Instead this looked at Red cap zombie hunter and said “hold my beer, I think I can do shit physics too” – and boy do its hit boxes deliver (or, well don’t). If you’re really lucky you can also jump off the screen, and go so high you worry about the little red dudes oxygen levels that far up into the atmosphere.

There is no skill or finesse required to play this game, mostly because there are any consequences should you die (and you will, a lot), nor do you need to work to unlock each level or season.
It wasn’t fun and the perpetual infinite loop of dodgy hit boxes that was the training level was the gaming equivalent of watching paint dry.

The music became ear offending (louder?) and obnoxious with a Euro-pop/dance vibe from the early 00’s which did not fit the vibe of the game at all (but was probably the most entertaining part about it) and as the settings only covered game resolution – there was zero way to save your ear drums.

Controller support was lacking, it worked, but not in the way you would hope and there was zero in the way of acknowledgement of how people might prefer this game play medium in the initial on screen intro prompts.

All in all Red doesn’t have an adventure, Red just suffers (as we suffered) at the hands of poorly test physics and ear drum offensive loudness.

Shiney Rating
0 paws out of 5
The hit boxes, jump mechanics and Europop soundtrack all fuse together for a truly unenjoyable experience. There zero incentive to play and unlock levels and the repetitive nature of how one dies due to the piss poor physics means that there is fun to be found here. Do not buy.